


Don't Let Those Eyes Fool You

by YallHearSumn



Series: Life's Greatest Blessing and Other Adventures [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Awesome Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Bucky Barnes - mentioned, Cliche, Clint Barton - mentioned - Freeform, Cute Kids, Domestic Avengers, Family Fluff, Grocery Shopping, Iron Dad, J.A.R.V.I.S. - Freeform, M/M, Naughty ass kids, Parent Steve, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Protective Steve, School, School runs, Science, Science Experiments, Shopping, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve is toosweet on them, SteveTony, Stony - Freeform, Stressed Steve, Superfamily, Team as Family, These kids about to drive him up a wall, Tony Stark Has A Heart, and what about it?, spiderson, steve is going through IT, tired parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 11:55:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17001198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YallHearSumn/pseuds/YallHearSumn
Summary: "Tony’s worried about nothing, this can’t be too hard,” Steve says aloud to himself, wandering to the kitchen to get lunch ready.AKA, Tony is off on business, and Steve needs to keep things together at home, the rest of the Avengers are unhelpfully helpful.





	1. It's all good, until it isn't - a biography by Steven G. Rogers

**Author's Note:**

> Trying out this new style of writing to "declutter" my paragraphs - hope it's easy on the eyes! Oh, oh, oh, find me on tumblr (if the tumblr feds haven't got me yet) @ yodelling-tony-stark. GO WATCH INTO THE SPIDERVERSE AND SUPPORT MY SON MILES MORALES!! Also, if you're into comics, let's shout about ironheart and Miles Morales: Spider man!! (I am not up to date with Champions or Unstoppable Wasp and I am: ashamed)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I-in need of a beta if anyone is up for it? I suck at rereads once I've posted because I highkey feel embarrassed reading my own work, if that makes sense? I'm a mess that only gets hit with inspo like, every once in a while though, so I promise I won't run you to the ground with having to read my mess <3

”Tony, have you seen my tablet?”

Raising an eyebrow at the glare he receives, Steve moves out of the way as Tony makes his way out of the room.

”Sweetheart, I could real-“

He gets a _shush _and finger to the lip from his husband this time, who moves further into the house, now with _his _tablet out, taking down notes.____

___ _

___”A simple nod of the head would do, Love! Guess I’ll just ask Sam and Gwen to help me look for it,” Steve calls out, checking under their bed and in their bedside cabinets._ _ _

___ _

___It’s hours later when Tony finally gets to bed, Steve doing crosswords on his now found StarkPad (which incidentally, was being used as a serving tray for Sam and Gwen’s tea parties), pointedly ignoring him as he gets into bed, the house quiet._ _ _

___ _

___”I thought Clint was bad with the shouting, but you’re just like the kids, you know? They don’t go three minutes without interrupting my calls, either, but I see now they get that from you,” Tony says flicking Steve’s tongue as he sticks it out at him. “You’re such a baby, Spangles”_ _ _

___ _

___”But your baby, right?” Steve says jokingly, waggling his eyebrows suggestively and receiving a slap to the chest before Tony collapses against him, letting out a long sigh and cuddling close._ _ _

___ _

___”That was Mr Lee’s lawyer, it seems the merger isn’t going as well as we thought it was and I’m going to have to go out there for a couple of days, maybe a week tops’_ _ _

___ _

___Steve hums as he twirls strands of Tony’s hair around his finger, half listening. “Yeah, sure, Sweetheart. Who was the 1963 track-and-field gold medalist? I know he was a James, but I can’t put my finger on the surname.”_ _ _

___ _

___”Jesse Owens, Hun, and you’re not even listening right now. Is your crossword seriously more important than your dear old husband? The father of your children? The sucker of your di-“_ _ _

___ _

___”Okay, I get it, Babe – you’re so dramatic. What is it you were saying? What’s happening with the merger?”_ _ _

___ _

___”Oh, so you listen when I talk about your dick then? Consider me sold,” Tony rolls his eyes and shifts in Steve’s arms as he puts the tablet down and strokes his hair. “We’re having some hiccups so I’ll have to fly over for a couple of days, work out the kinks and handle whatever else is going on. You’ll have to be alone with the kids, but I’m sure everyone else will be over here anyway, so I’m sure none of you will starve, at least.”_ _ _

___ _

___”Babe, you say that like I haven’t been alone with them before, I’ve got this, trust me. I’m their Dad, my very instincts are tuned into making sure they’re okay.”_ _ _

___ _

___”Mm hmm, but you’re the same Dad that gave Pete a bath in the sink with the garbage disposal running when he was three, and let them sleep in the pool _in _their baby pools.”_ _ _ __

___ _

___”I see how that might count against me, but in my defense, I honestly thought that was to keep the water warm - why do we even have a garbage disposal in our sink? We’ve got a bin don’t we? And hey, they enjoyed that night just as much as we did, besides Nat was there as supervision, you know she’s a light sleeper.”_ _ _

___ _

___”Okay babe, but no garbage disposal baths or pool sleeping this time, got it? I’m dead on my feet so it’s night-night time, work is so exhausting, remind me again why I'm not just living my life out as a trophy husband and drinking cosmos at noon?”_ _ _

___ _

___”Well, for starters you basically lost it when you were on maternity leave, Sweetheart. You wouldn't survive being home with nothing to do all day, and besides, you hate Cosmos and day-drinking.”_ _ _

___"Well, I didn't have anything to do back then and Rhodey was haranguing me from the other side of the world about what he was reading in those pregnancy books-"_ _ _

___"The bad ones by the doctor that used to botch C-sections?"_ _ _

___"YES, the bad ones. Seriously, letting the caffeine go was one thing, but doing sun salutations every time I ate a bad thing as a cosmic apology? Not even Strange suggested that, and he's, you know, an actual acclaimed surgeon."_ _ _

___"Baby, Stephen's a neurosurgeon. And a Wizard, or was it a Sorcerer? Anyway, not really a recipe for an all-knowing maternity doctor."_ _ _

___"Don't bring that up in this bedroom! It goes against everything in me, all my fundamentals. It's like telling you he's a God."_ _ _

___"I dealt with that years ago, Babe. You forgetting your beloved Point Break?"_ _ _

___"Okay, but still. Strange is not some laa dee daa magical being. There is a GREAT _scientific _explanation for what they do at the sanctum."_ _ _ __

___"Of course there is Hon."_ _ _

___"Don't make fun of me when I have the holes you want to be in, and you know celibacy isn't a good look for either of us."_ _ _

___"So dramatic, Babe. Come here and let me make it up to you."_ _ _

___”You finally getting me that back massage wand?"_ _ _

___"Wait, what wand? You know what, never mind, because I've got something way _way _better."_ _ _ __

___"That right, Soldier?" Tony asks smirking and peering up at his husband towering above him._ _ _

___"Well of course, Sir. Now how 'bout you lift those legs to the sky - I might have to search ya 'fore I can give you that gift. Never know what ya might be hidin' from me under all these sheets, Doll."_ _ _

___Grumbling, Tony shifted in bed as Steve peeled the sheets back. "You are so insufferable, knowing that Brooklyn boy act's gonna get me fired up."_ _ _

___"I live only to please you and make your days easier."_ _ _

___ _

___ _

* 

___ _

___”Okay, so Pete’s got debate club this week, _and _marching band practice after school, we’re hosting Harley’s soccer team for lunch after their game on Saturday, _do not let Clint or Barnes barbecue anything, _uhm, Sam and Gwen have ballet two nights this week and parent-teacher meetings’ are on Wednesday. Call the school and let them know what times are good for you, Baby. Maybe ask Nat to go with you?” Tony rushes out, reading off of the list on his tablet. “And don’t let your Daddy forget, little misters and missy, come on, last kisses and hugs. Oh! And, everyone is banned from the lab this week, unless Rhodey or Bruce is in there with them, except Pete. He's grounded which means-”_____ _ _

___"Only school and back, I know, Pa," Peters grumbles stomping after his Pa and scuffing his shoes against the wood floors._ _ _

___A chorus of “Pa!” is let out from the rest of the kids, however, to which Tony just raises his eyebrow and repeats his sentiment. “I’m serious, guys. No unsupervised lab binges until you're at least more responsible.”_ _ _

___Following after Tony and the kids with his bags, Steve places them by the door. ”Don’t worry about it, Hun. I’ve got this. You just make sure everything goes well on your side, and come back to us in one piece.”_ _ _

___"Mm, alright, come here babies let me get those cuddles in."_ _ _

___ _

___An hour later, Tony is headed to South Korea and Steve, for the first time in years, is left on his own with the animals they call their children._ _ _

___ _

___”Tony’s worried about nothing, this can’t be too hard,” Steve says aloud to himself, wandering to the kitchen to get lunch ready._ _ _


	2. Life's funny like that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The week continues, and Steve is trying his best

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last part! If you have any requests, feel free to drop some in the comments, and I really hope you enjoy the read xx

Okay, so it’s 24 hours later, and maybe Steve can admit this isn’t as easy as he thought it would be, but come on, this is his and Tony’s kids, ‘easy’ doesn’t really do it for them.

Since lunch yesterday, everyone had been well-behaved, up until they realised Tony wasn’t coming home by bedtime (“Well, what did you expect, Honey? Papa said he’d be gone for a week, remember? He can’t just fly back to tuck you in, but I promise we can video call him when he’s up later, how’s that sound Sammy?” “No!”), and what followed was Sam and Gwen doing a sleep strike (which lasted all of 15 minutes before they knocked out on the couch), and Harley and Peter deciding today was the day to test whether a super soldier could suffer from a heart attack, disappearing from their room while Steve tried to reign the twins in.  
He found them, after franticly running all over the house and finally remembering they had an A.I. which monitored everyone, in his and Tony’s bedroom, curled up together on Tony’s side of the bed, clutching one of his Tom Ford scarves and dozing off with _Bill Nye the Science Guy _playing in the background. Deciding everyone might as well sleep together, Steve made quick work to fetch Gwen and Sam, tucking them in and settling down himself.__

__

__*_ _

__

__In the morning, however, things weren’t any easier. The morning run was always so swift and ran without a hitch because he and Tony each handled something. He would pack lunches and make breakfast, while Tony got the kids up and ready. Without one half of the dream team gone however, things proved to be a little more rough._ _

__

__Pete and Harley saw to getting themselves ready (“We’re big now, don’t worry about it, _Steve,” _Pete says smugly, taking his brother by the hand presumably to get dressed), while Steve tried to get sleepy five-year-olds up and ready for pre-K. Letting Peter be in charge of getting him and Harley dressed was mistake number 1, because in it, he opened the door for Peter to get Harley into his dinosaur PJs (which he loved), all so he could wear his Star Trek PJs without fuss, knowing Harley wouldn’t relent to changing. Mistake no. 2 was ignoring the oatmeal cooking on the stove in order to get Gwen’s hair braided and Sam’s shoes on, while simultaneously trying to read through the permission slip Harley had slid across the table at him – some trip to Coney Island with the school – and inevitably having breakfast burned. At times like these, he wished one of the other Avengers had showed up to help, they always had a way of materialising at the worst times, but when Steve needs them most, they vanish like that Avatar kid.___ _

___ _

___Trying to centre himself and be strong in the face of judgment (his kids could stare down any S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Steve knew of into confession), and just deciding _Screw it, Coco Pops it is, _Steve finishes the breakfast run and has the kids shuffling out of the house in no time.__ _ _ _

___ _

___At home in the quiet now, Steve wanders down the hallway and goes from room to room to straighten things out. Thinking to call Tony and ask about his flight, Steve remembers that he landed a couple of hours ago and was probably sleeping off the jet lag ( _Hey Honey, just landed! Hope you and the kids are doing great, tell them I love them, and I love you! Have a great morning xoxo, _was the text he had woken up to and had energised him for the day)._ _ ___

__

__

___**** _ _ _

___******* ** _ _ _

___**** _ _ _

It wasn’t that taking care of things when Tony wasn’t home was impossible, it was just that his kids and his friends were sabotaging him beyond reason. Everyday a new problem arose, whether it was Gwen’s favourite doll going missing, or Peter tricking Steve into doing his homework (even though he didn’t get one bit of this new math, seriously, why did 4th graders need to know math this advanced?), Harley messing around and losing the remotes or Sam losing his clothes the minute he walked in the door, Steve just could not seem to catch a break. 

___**** _ _ _

”Guys, we’re headed to the store real quick, I found this website with safe diy science projects the kids can make so we’re gonna pick up some supplies.” 

___**** _ _ _

”Hey, I’ll go with you! 

___**** _ _ _

’Yeah, me too.” 

___**** _ _ _

Rolling his eyes at both Clint and Bucky, Steve just instructs them to pick a kid and makes his way out. Lucky for them, the nearest shopping complex isn’t too far from their spacious Brownstone and all the _kids, _which in Steve’s mind includes Bucky and Clint, behaved for the most part. On their way, they spot several neighbours out jogging or taking their dogs for walks, and are stopped several times for someone to coo at the kids, or a fan who wants a picture (“Hey, I thought you’re with Iron Man?” “Yeah, I am” “Well where is he then?” “Business trip, it’s just me and the kids for the week” “Yeah, guess so, I think it would be much cooler if he was here though” “Okay kid, that’s enough of you”), but finally, they make it to the store.__

____

____

_****__ ** ** _

”Hey Buck, you go get Harley’s things, Clint you go with Pete and I’ll sort the twins out.” 

_****__ ** ** _

”No problem, Cap.” 

_****__ ** ** _

”You got it, Punk.” 

_****__ ** ** _

_****__*_ _ ** ** _

_****__ ** ** _

Tony was absolutely going to murder him. Not quick and easy either, he’d stretch it out and make the pain reach new heights because Peter and Harley were missing and _Oh my god, Tony will never forgive me._

__

__

****___ _ ** **

One minute he was trying to remember what vinegar he needed to get to make volcano lava and trying to get Sam and Gwen to keep their hands to themselves, and the next Bucky and Clint were tearing down the aisle, noticeably panicked. He tries to remain calm as he puts the twins in the cart going over to one side of the store to search for them while Bucky and Clint spread out to cover the rest. Steve’s 3 seconds away from bursting into tears and calling Nat, when he hears it: 

****___ _ ** **

_Can a mister Steve Rogers come to the front desk please, we have two little boys here. I repeat, can Steve Rogers come to the front desk please, thank you._

____

____

****___ _ ** **

Steve’s too relieved to worry about the things Gwen is swiping off the shelves as he makes his way to the front desk – there in stained clothes and angelic smiles stood his boys, dirty but in one piece. 

****___ _ ** **

Stepping forward he envelopes them in a big hug, ruffling their hair and asking where they had run off to, just as Bucky and Clint reach them, taking the boys into their own arms. 

****___ _ ** **

”Sir, we caught your sons messing around with mentos and coke, apparently trying to do an ‘experiment,’ they had seen somewhere and on top of that they made a big mess in the store.” 

****___ _ ** **

”We just wanted to see what would happen, Daddy, we didn’t mean to get in trouble,” Harley says innocently smiling at Steve, and although he can see it’s a ploy to get out of punishment, Steve’s too relieved to be mad at them right now. 

****___ _ ** **

”I’m really sorry guys, let me pay for the damages and what they used and we can get this all sorted out,” Steve says tiredly, ushering the store manager to a checkout and putting the groceries through. 

****___ _ ** **

”Sorry dad,” Peter says on their way back home, firmly perched in Bucky’s arms. “We wanted to get it perfect for when Papa came back so that we could surprise him. We didn’t mean to scare you.” 

****___ _ ** **

”Okay, Bud, as long as you promise me you won’t do it again, okay? Daddy was really worried and you gave your uncles a big scare too.” 

****___ _ ** **

”Okay, Pops.” 

****___ _ ** **

****___*_ _ _ ** **

****___ _ ** **

By the time Tony gets back on Sunday, Steve is dead on his feet and ready to sleep for a month. The laundry had messed up somehow (because of course having your five year olds help you wouldn’t resort in miscoloured clothes, not at all) and they had ate take out more this week then they had the entirety of last month (of course the kids enjoyed that).Between the flurry of kids running up and down the house yesterday after Harley’s soccer game, and having a bunch of middle aged parents shamelessly flirting with him, despite his wedding ring being pretty visible, and pictures of Tony up all over the walls, Steve couldn’t be more thankful for his husband returning. They always did work better **together.**

********

********

**___**** _ _ _ **

****

****

”You look busted, Cap,” comes Tony’s voice later that night, climbing into bed after having to make up for all the missed stories and cuddles. 

**___****_ _ _ **

**___****_ _ _ **

**___**** _ _ _ **

”Mm” 

**___**** _ _ _ **

”Thank you for being so amazing this week, the kids told me they had so much fun with you, I’m starting to feel a little jealous and like I wasn’t even missed. They were gushing all about you.” 

**___**** _ _ _ **

Snorting and leaning into Tony’s space, Steve presses their lips together and stops just as things are about to get _too _raunchy. “That’s how I felt all week, _Pa feeds me my noodles so I don’t know how to, Pa doesn’t fold my shirts like that. _I forget how much you do when I’m off doing S.H.I.E.L.D. things , the kids really love you Tony, and I love you. Thank you for being such a perfect partner.”____

_____ _

_____ _

******___ _ ** ** **

******___ _ ** ** **

”Well, I have missed having a baby in the house…” 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Absolutely not.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Come on, Tones, think about it. You kno-“ 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Remember when we were sitting up with the twins that one night, Sam had poop running up his back and leaking through the sides of his diaper and Gwen was projectile vomiting from acid reflux? Was that not our silent pact for no more or was I reading the room wrong?” 

******___ _ ** ** **

”I mean, you loved being pregnant though, and I loved you being pregnant, all cute and round.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Steve… what will we even do with another baby? The twins aren’t even in school yet, and besides we’re busy enough with the four we currently have.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

Exactly, wouldn’t you like the company since you’re almost exclusively working from home??” 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Babe, there are two big reasons you shouldn’t have kids: one, never get pregnant to save a marriage, and two, don’t have a baby because you’re lonely. It’s like shopping when you’re hungry –wow, bad comparison.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

"Well, we’re not lonely, but I mean, Sam doesn’t want to be the baby forever.” 

”Goodnight, Steve,” Tony singsongs, getting under the covers and pecking Steve on the lips one last time. “It’s crazy that after spending a week with the kids - alone, you are the one wants another baby.”>

******___ _ ** ** **

”Life’s funny like that babe, I love you, my babymother.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Steve, please go to bed. 

******___ _ ** ** **

”Mama, ohh hoo hoo.” 

******___ _ ** ** **

_”Steven.”_

******___ _ ** ** **

”Love you, Babe!” 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the read, crack those backs and meet those deadlines! I promise I'll have the next chapter up soon!! Lots of love <3


End file.
